Year by Year… Month by Month… Day by Day… Hours by Hours… Minutes by Minutes… Second by Seconds have already passed by for almost 24 years. Yet still I can’t even search and find the other half of me… Who are you and Where are you? What are you doing lately? Are happy or sad? Are you having enjoyment in every second of your life or Are you feeling frustrated of yourself right now? Honestly, I do keep searching for him but still I can’t even find him. I searched until the pieces by pieces of my HEART keep on broken because of those wrong men that come in and out as they want to. Honestly, it’s HURT.
I once stop looking for him but in the end I am the one who feels so LONELY and yeah! Even now I am so Lonely… I need someone to express my feeling and share my stories and so even him. I would like to listen stories from him and share our feelings towards each other. I am looking for my other half until sometime it’s beyond my levels. I am stuck and I did not even know what to do.
Certain people will say, “Just stay and wait…” but until when I should wait? Until I am getting old and die? Some people said I should be patient. But… Until when should I be patient? And one more problem that runs into me. I am too scared to open my heart to other man that comes into my life. I am sorry… I think this is the problem that I am facing right now. It’s not about other person problem. It’s coming from me itself. I really want to find my other half but on the other hand, I am so scared to open my HEART to others. I am too SCARED from what has happened to me before.
I am the type of person that always gives LOVE to the person that came into my life more that I should and in the end, I am the one who suffered more and live in sorrow day by day, month by month even year by year. It’s not that I don’t even have any initiative to even change my life and personality. I do changed it but in the end… I am SORRY… I can’t. Chommal Mianeyo… Na Mottae!!!
I had given my full commitment on my changes but in the end… I’ve cried because I can’t even change myself, my personality. It doesn’t fit me.
To my other half,
No matter where you are… What you do… Please… Jeballeyo… I am begging you to come and help me. Niga Pillyohae… I really really need you… I hope you can change me for the better person. I really really need your love and protection. I am sorry… May be I do look like desperate but I need you to come and save me because I can’t even be strong anymore. I can’t even stand up as usual. I have lost my confidence. I have lost my spirit and my soul is kinda empty… MY OTHER HALF… PLEASE… HELP ME…
NURUL SYAZWANI BT SOHAHUDDIN
23 APRIL 2012 11:07PM