To my dearest Joey,
Today, 29th September 2011, Thursday and this is our last day. We will not gonna call, text, email or chat with each other anymore as you wish. I’ve told you earlier that we should find one last day for us but you are so stubborn. You don’t wanna listen to me. What you always mention to me is “THIS IS NOT OUR LAST DAY” and you’re kept on repeating the same thing to me. I should go when I know you are committing with her before. Once I’ve said to you that I let you go, I was thinking that is was my last day for us but you are the one who kept on convincing me and said this is not our last day.
I was so stupid because I was too deeply, madly, stupidly in love with you. As you said that you can’t let me go, I’m always be the first one to you and this was not our last day, I was thinking that “Yeah, I should be with you and stay with you although as a friend. Keep on support and love you as a friend of yours”. Without even think the effect later.
Look what have happen. Where and when is our last day? Our official last day. I’m not put all the blames to you but I was so frustrated that we don’t even have any official last day. It’s ok… I accept the fate that we are not meant for each other but we should be separated in good way not in this way. I really don’t like it so much…
I let her go because she is younger than me. As I am thinking, if I fight back, I would be same like her. So, I let it be. People said that I should fight for love but if your heart is with her, then, what should I do? Moreover, we are in different religion, that’s why I let you go.
I love you and your family so much. Once I know, that they didn’t like our relationship, although it’s pain for me, I let you go… As you still remember, I cried because I let you go. I want your family to be proud with you and I don’t even want your mom to be sad because of us. I want they said to you, they proud of you as a first son in their family…
I’m thinking of our future and the risks happen. I don’t want you to get hurt and sad. So, I let you go. I let you go because I Love You Too Much.
Now, look what has happening to me? Nice huh? Being ambush by your girlfriend for twice? Did you think I’m enjoying this? Did you think I like it so much? Thank you so much, Dear… Thanks for giving me this… Today, I feel like I wanna express all my feeling here to you. Although, you don’t read it but this is it! I should be cursing you and wish of kicking and punching you right now but I can’t coz I love you…
Love is so stupid and makes me feel damn stupid because of you. Like I said before, don’t let me hurt again but still you’re hurting me so badly. Thanks for that too. I didn’t know what I’ve done in my past life. I always be nice to people but in the end, I am the one who gets all the shit! Nice huh?!
So, tonight, my head is blank and I have no ideas at all to write for you… May be tomorrow or later?
That’s all for now… Take care…
Penang Bridge, With Love,
NURUL SYAZWANI SOHAHUDDIN (NURUL)